safe word

[ seyf wurd ]

noun

1. a word previously agreed upon for use as a signal during sex, especially sex involving bondage, dominance, or sadism, to let one’s partner know that they should stop what they are doing.
2. a word previously agreed upon for use in any consensual but risky or potentially overwhelming situation, to call for help or take oneself out of the action:

   If you like scare mazes you’ll love the House of Horror—but if it becomes too much, shout the safe word and a staff member will get you out ASAP.

   During labor, my safe word to say that I truly needed and wanted an epidural was “snowshoe.”

3. a word previously agreed upon to indicate that one is not in danger, that someone can be trusted, etc.:

   When the alarm prompts our monitoring center to call you, if you don’t answer with your safe word we’ll alert the police that you’re in danger.

   Use our safe word “penguin” when you pick up my son from school, or he won’t go with you.

4. a term that can be used without alienating, upsetting, or alarming someone else or people in general:

   She may have been a bit radical, but she finally made “socialism” a safe word in politics.

Word History and Origins

Origin of safe word¹

First recorded in 1670–80; 1985–90 safe word fordef 1

Example Sentences

Trust is an aphrodisiac in “Safe Word.”

From New York Times

Josiah Wise, who records as serpentwithfeet, promises that “The safe word is me” and “I’m your shelter,” while adding that he’s “insatiable,” in “Safe Word.”

From New York Times

Ballard would sometimes offer the women a “safe word” to use to get out of a situation; two women recalled using that safe word as a female escort groped them, only to have Ballard ignore them.

From Slate

Final words: “There was a point where Aminah Nieves, the actor playing Teonna, was straddling me and I had a cloth in my mouth and she was strangling me — so we had to have a safe word,” Ehle says.

From Los Angeles Times

They were given a safe word to stop the interrogations, and there was multiple levels of supervision to avoid “abusive drift.”

From New York Times